10 Things I wish I could tell my younger self.

Growing up is tuff. For anyone. Even those of us that had it "easy". No one is impervious to the extraordinary teen angst that comes along with growing up. I wish that I could write letters and send them to a younger me. To remind myself to be happy and grateful for what I had, to be patient and kind, to not embarrass myself the way I did.

1. Thank your mother more.

you won't realize until you're a mother just how much you under-appreciated her and that's okay because she loves you to end of the earth anyway. Thank her for it. Thank her for keeping your laundry clean, and cooking you dinner almost every single night for damn near 18 years. Thank her for cleaning the top of the trash can all the damn time, because its you who's doing it now for your family and you'd like to be thanked for it from time to time. Thank your mom and give her a hug.

2. Love yourself more.

Stop hating yourself, stop critiquing every inch of your body in the mirror. Stop looking for validation through "likes" on social media. You are good enough as is. Actually, you're kick-ass! One day you'll see that. It'd be cool if you could see it now though.

3. Be a better friend.

You've been kind of a bitch, knock it off. I know some of your friends haven't always been the best to you, but that doesn't mean you should ever treat them less than how you would like to be treated. All people deserve your kindness, especially the people you love.

4. Stop drinking so much.

Girl, you're embarrassing. You will hold onto that embarrassment well into adulthood. Just quit while you're ahead. You know as well as I do right now that anxiety is all too unkind to us. The regrettable things you do will haunt you for a long time. But you do get over it, eventually realizing that the opinions of the people who were around then don't matter anymore.

5. You are going to be a wonderful mother.

It's true, I know at this point you're probably thinking you don't even want kids. But you've got 'em, two of 'em and you want a third. These babies are everything, and they rule. They love you and you love them and being a mom is not easy by any means but you've so got this.

6. Colorado is the worst.

Its beautiful and exciting and expensive and so very very painful. But you should go anyway, it leads you to my next bullet point.

7. James Bitter is the love of your life.

This one probably won't take a lot of convincing. He's been your friend for years, you've always had that thing that you pretend isn't there. It's totally there. You love him, and he loves you. You should probably go find him so you can love him a little longer and skip the Colorado part.

8. Don't stop making art.

This one is hard. As you get older you have less and less time for it but its a part of you. Flex your creativity muscle and you'll feel better. You'll eventually drift away from your pencil and it'll feel even harder to make time for something you know makes you feel strong. Don't lose it.

9. Do your research on Politics.

You've spent a lot of years uneducated about what goes on in the Government loop. You've blindly followed what you thought you've always known without doing any of the research. Don't do it anymore, think for yourself. You're a full blown feminist now. It's a good thing, your son and your daughter will feminists too.

10. You won't always be depressed.

you will likely always have depression but it won't always be as dark and gloomy as it feels right now. Some days are still hard and a little dark but a majority of the days are full of all the joy you have ever wanted for yourself. You'll feel it when James is away and the anxiety is overwhelming, you'll feel it when the week is only half way over and you've been stretched too thin but you've got so many people who love you and want to support you through it all. You'll remember much faster now that " Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light" -Albus Dumbledore.